misjudgement

the thing about humans they usually judge humans easily.
it's very hard NOT to judge people from the 1st time u met them.
but seriously guys??
could u not try to judge someone without knowing them closer?
*it hit me in the head too*
i often judge people but no matter how much i tried NOT to judge people...i'll try to be positive about it.
think twice..

even Al-Quran too..
the perfect manuscript ever given by ALLAH.
there are people who misjudge it.
take half the verse and translate it by their own will
n when there's the people who dun really know the content of the Quran..
straight away judge ISLAM.
well,is tht fair??
is that bloody fair?

no aite??
surely we'll be pissed off by that.
aite?

So,before u start pointing fingers to someone.
please.
please.
make some research whtsoever.
n the people who spread it..
please.
please.
before u spread it either js for fun or whatsoever.
makesure it wouldn't make people misunderstood about it.
that's how haters,anger,enemy whtsoever bad things starts.
when u start misjudging someone without even trying to know them.
straight away makes bad assumptions towards people.
Astaghfirullahal'azim
no humans are perfect u know.
but it doesn't mean it makes u perfect.

p/s:alright.i'm cool with it.but if someone starts saying stuffs about me.well,js watch out.i'm afraid the person that i've tried hard to hide will be exposed.n i know how much i hate being the other part of me....i seriously do...astaghfirullahal'azim..

p/s: klu la terjadi pa2...teringin mau private ni blog..i dun want things tht happen to my cousin happen to me...i know i'm not strong enough.

WALLAHUALAM.May ALLAH Bless.

essay about dream(?)

i remembered 4 years ago since i last attend my English exam during my SPM.
gahhh~~~~i feel old.
didn't realise how time flies huh?
it kinda freaks me out knowing tht growing up is way faster than i remembered i want it to be.

So,anyway...
during my English exam.paper 2 i guess the written-comprehension-essay-writing thingy..
one thing i remember,there was a few choices of questions and i pick the most interesting...ermm..nope...the most easiest one for my imagination to think about.
MY DREAM GUY.
aahahaha.
trust me.tht question was quite the funniest and quite a whole wide of imaginations was used.
I love writing essays.
especially the ones tht got to do with imaginations.
the one tht asked to continue the next sentence like
ex: he was walking in an alley.........

n i would turn it into a ghost story.
there were few essays tht i did it.
gahhh~when i read it back....it kinda too sends shivers to my spine.
ahahaha.
padahal....if i were to watch a ghost movie,i'm the 1st person to hide behind my friends back.
yeay..i'm a coward i admit tht.
ahahahah.

mr google

About my essay thingy,
i actually quite can't remember wht i wrote about my dream guy.
i guess the only thing i remembered was he should be able to be an imam for me and also he doesn't smoke.
hihihihihi
well,until now.i still hope for that.
but if i were to make a list on how i want my future guy is...maybe the list would be kinda long.AHAHAHAH.
but ya know wht...i'll js shorten it into a few MAIN points.
wawawa~

• Muslim ---> he must be a muslim.well,i don't really hope for an ustaz...a guy who is a hardcore person,slumber whtsoever but he can be an imam to me n knows wht the do's n don'ts in Islam...is already enough for me..but the more eager he wants to learn about Islam the better.the one that is able to bring me closer to ALLAH..an ustaz but not an ustaz.get wht i mean???eheheh *but i need to improvise myself too...want a good guy,i shud too try to become a good person

• English --->well,this maybe a lame hope but seriously,i do hope to find a guy who really can speak fluent english.i mean fluent fluent..reason?well,honestly i do speak english at home with my family.so,i hope i find a guy tht can speak english well too.SO,there isn't an awkward moment when he hears me n my parents speak...i mean,easier to say...it's easy for him to blend in my family.got tht? 

• Non-Smokers --->honestly,i can't stand smokers..eventhough i find them sometimes to be cool...but i js can't stand the smokes.cigarette's smoke.even after i'm here in Egypt...which Egyptians are usually heavy smokers,still i can't get used to it.If he was a previous smoker before but trying to quit...well,i'd maybe still accept tht.at least he tried to quit.

• Sekufu --->on the same standard levels.well,in Islam it's better to find someone who is the same level as you.aite?i come from an ordinary family not too rich nor poor.afraid tht if tht guy is rich,i couldn't fit into his high levels of standards like buying branded clothes whtsoever.hellooo...aku beli baju pun yg berkualiti tp harga RM10 pun nda kisah ooo...and if he's poor,afraid tht he may not be able to cope with my family.i mean,keep on feeling inferior...-.-' i don't want it to be like that. *sigh*

• Be myself ---> tht someone is able to make me comfortable about myself.no need for me to cover up the real me.i mean i am who i am.he should be able to accept me js the way i am.n me too should do that back to him.well,the other day me n my friend talk..n she said she wants to find a guy who would always think she's cute no matter it wht condition she is...ahahaha...comel plak tu dgr dia ckp gtu??.ex: js woke up from sleep,js went back from a 24hours oncall with a horrible condition(as i'm gonna be a doctor),mengigau aka sleep talking =.=' ,when i'm furious,when i do silly things and he still can make fun about it...n whtever conditions i may look ugly.ahahah...i remembered my dad when talking about the making fun part.my dad loves to make a joke on my mum...well,js a slight funny joke.hihihhihi.

• Handsome ---> owh well,i like looking at handsome guys..astaghfirullah..rang..rang..u shud lower ur gaze..*shakehead*  whattttt??don't blame me.i js do...but tht's js an admiration...even if tht guy ain't like tht..mau buat cmna?aku pun sedar jgk diri aku is a simple average person without anything..so,forget finding the handsome one...js as long as i feel calm whenever i looked at him.bila stress,nmpk dia trus tenang jak rasa..hihihih.well,if possible he should be a tall guy 175cm above,not too skinny,fair skin,chinese look....eh??mcm ada sdh yg berkenan di hati c rang ni???WAKAKAKKAKAKA.~~~ 

• Like ayah --->well,a guy who resembles my ayah in soo many ways.js hope i can find a guy like ayah...i've put my standards in finding a guy like my ayah.a guy who is always there through highs n lows,always patient,never dare to lift even a finger towards us,can read quran very awesomeness *siap tarannum lagi* ,caring,funny n whtever good things there are in my dad.my dad,my hero.:)

well,tht's it...

kinda a common dream guy in every girl i guess except the english part.

i think seldom people thought about it.

ehehehe

but whatever it is...

"no matter how long ur lists are,once u fall for that someone i guess u js dun even care anymore.u just did."

i wonder why people dream about this man.dun u think it's kinda freakishly scary?
mr google

p/s: actually in a state of trying to move on.but this is the most difficult thing ever.So,whoever made me forget n made me move on...well,u're the MOST awesome person to change that.:) u can't js simply forget someone who's already in ur heart??demm these feelings.i hate it...

p/s2: i was inspired to write this after i saw my friends fb status the other day..reminding me our English SPM exam question about the dream guy.Writing about this doesn't mean i can't wait getting married la...gatal sgt to get married la whtsoever...it's js something i wanna share with u guys...*sheesssshhh...can't u guys js be POSITIVE about it?sometimes people will talk negatively about it like they all know everything..u can never satisfy people though*

p/s3: alhamdulillah..i finish my physiology exam..gahhhh~~the horrors of the exam.....js hope ALLAH ease me n my friends on tht one...js let me pass Ya Rabb...wanna go home.:(

p/s4:few MAIN points for me are still long aite??ahahahahahha....sorry for letting u read some kind of random post.ahahahahha......too many p/s already....*sigh*

gotta go.

it's almost zohor prayer here.ALLAH's call is more important.:)

WALLAHUALAM.May ALLAH Bless.

physiology exam

honestly speaking,my exam physio is kinda not-so-good.
yeah...
terrible.
i mean,first time in my life i felt tht i'm really like a person but brainless.
seriouslyyyyy.
Ya ALLAH...actually,i feel like crying.
really feel like crying.
owh i dunno.
i've been calming my heart since just now.
all iz well.all iz well.
but ya know wht,the thought of taking durthani(reseat exam) really kills me.
aku mau balik.
serious mau balik.
the first time in my life,i felt like i know nothing about wht i've studied.
i'm not strong enough actually to face another failure.
remembering my mum's face,my dad's trust.....i feel like i can't take another failure.
mungkin mmg org ckp ada hikmah di sebalik semua ni.
i'm trying to be positive right now.
harap2 la doctor yg tanda paper aku tu seorang yang baik hati....smoga dilembutkan hatinya memberi markah kepada aku.
ntahla..
i dunno.
everything has passed.
i've tried my best
i put my every effort.
So,i'm really hoping ALLAH look at my effort.
i know maybe my effort may not seem enough.
but please,Ya Rabb...
js let me pass my physiology paper.
i know it's js 1 paper but trust me,no one wants to reseat their exam paper again evn when they want to do a better job than previous.especially a person like me tht is studying abroad and already bought ticket to fly back home.
Ya ALLAH,ease our exam.
Ya ALLAH,ease our exam
Ya ALLAH,ease our exam.

honestly speaking,i felt like i'm kinda stupid.jawab soalan ntah pa2...mau merambang jawab esei sendiri pun nda tau ba..
i feel like i went to my physiology exam without studying.
Ya ALLAH,sempatkanlah aku utk lulus.
kinda feel like a bit down.
compare to last year...my physiology exam was better.
n i definitely nailed it evnthough there was some question tht i didn't know the answer..but alhamdulillah...i got Jayyid Jiddan (very good)
this year?THIS YEAR?
i'm kinda speechless.
i'm js hoping ALLAH ease everything.
now,i dun hope for MUMTAZ or even JAYYID JIDDAN.
i'm js hoping ALLAH help me to pass all my exams..physiology especially....
tgkla nnt..klupun physio mungkin lulus cukup2 makan seja....
u'll see my anatomy,histology and biochemistry...i definitely kill them all....insyaALLAH.
biiznillah..
ALLAHumma ma'ana....
i'm confident ALLAH is always with me.
i guess ALLAH 'psycho'ed me a bit thru my physio exam js to not let me be in tht comfortable position.
yeah,maybe.
So,biiznillah....i'll try harder on my next paper.
owh ya...n also my physiology oral exam on this friday.
wish me luck guys.
seriously,aku sgt cuakkk..
tht's the only chance for me utk lulus.
pray for me guys...especially those who read this and staying around Jeddah..
if u pray in front of Kaabah...help to pray for my success yaaa...i really really really really really need it..
 i want to bring another good result to my family..
show my mum and dad tht the sacrifice they made for me 3 years ago is really worth it....
please Ya Rabb,
evn if it isn't for me....js let me do it for the sake of my parents.
amin~ amin~ amin~
let me make them proud.


"Going to the 3rd year is my aim for this year.biiznillah"


p/s:now i realised how hard it is being a medical student.i really do...back from summer break,i'm gonna start studying everything of 3rd year topic from the start.insyaALLAH..may ALLAH ease tht.seriously,hoping for a miracle now.
i know ALLAH wouldn't let HIS creations down.
So,let's not give up on ALLAH...i'm sure there's a miracle.:)
Let's js hope we're the one tht is said Kun Fayakun by HIM.
insyaALLAH kullu mumtaziinnnn..

eh,it's already isya' prayer in my place.gotta go.hav a date wif ALLAH :)


WALLAHUALAM.May ALLAH Bless.

ALLAH is near

humans.
not all time we're in the strong position.
i mean,there would be times tht we suddenly feel like we're torn apart
n we dun even know the reason for it.
i dunno.
i really need strength.
the only place i can ask strength is to HIM
Ya ALLAH..
i need u to giv me strength.
i really need it now.
i dun even know why i'm like this.

is it because it's my physiology exam?
Ya ALLAH...
i know YOU're always there.
could YOU help me stand back up?
3 days before my physiology exam.
lots of things to cover.
ease me and my friends Ya Rabb.

mr google

"Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu tentang “Aku” maka (jawablah) bahwasanya Aku adalah dekat. Aku mengabulkan permohonan orang yang berdo’a apabila berdo’a kepada-Ku, maka hendaklah mereka itu memenuhi (segala perintah-Ku) dan hendaklah mereka itu beriman kepada-Ku, agar mereka selalu berada dalam kebenaran"
 ( Al Baqarah: 186).

Astaghfirullah.

ALLAH is near to us.

ALLAH is closer to us more than our own internal jugular vein.

He hears our prayer.

I shud remember that.

Hav faith in ALLAH.

ALLAHUMMA ma'ana.

i guess i js didn't remember tht by heart.

i keep reminding people but i myself didn't keep tht words in my heart too.

everytime i called my mum,i would tell my mum i'm scared.but my mum keep saying why shud i be scared?

true.why shud I?

i have ALLAH.:)

maybe wht i need to study is a whole lot of topics.
but don't forget ALLAH's greater than tht physiology paper.
there's still time for me.i guess i'll keep try to go strong.insyaALLAH.biiznillah.

pray for me guys..i really need ur prayers.
syukrann for tht.


gotta go.
till then




WALLAHUALAM.May ALLAH Bless.

every single day

i guess the thing about my life now is i'm repeating the same routine every single day.

wake up-subuh prayer-do whtever/sleep-facebooking-tweeting-study a lil bit-go to class-back from class-asar prayer-facebooking/tweeting/blogging(if rajin..aahaha)-skype with my family-dinner-maghrib and isyak prayer-study lil bit-sleep  *my routine is sort of like this*

#except on weekends where i go and meet up with friends. and also during my final exam months*like now* which i kinda face the books almost 24 hrs i guess.=.='

n the cycle keeps going on and on and on....felt like time is soo short

so,i wonder when will my routine change?
ahahahha.
maybe after i'm back to Malaysia maybe???during my clinical years??could be awesomeeee...
after i'm married?wakkaka *ok.sila muntah @.@*

but actually,24hours is quite a long time if we use our time properly but i guess humans never manage their time wisely.
ALLAH knew that.
"Demi masa.Sesungguhnya manusia itu benar-benar dalam kerugian, kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan mengerjakan amal saleh dan nasehat menasehati supaya mentaati kebenaran dan nasehat menasehati supaya menetapi kesabaran. " (Al-'Asr : 1-3) 

and when humans realise the shortage of their time,their busyness then they realise how time is precious...more precious than gold.
but as Imam Ghazali said, time is the most farthest thing from us.as we can't turn back time.


well,since it's only 4 days left for my physiology written exam...i'll js try my best evnthough i seriously got lots of things to catch up...
kaathiir kaathiir jiddan.
may ALLAH ease and my friends in our exam.biiznillah.
may we're the one tht is a part of those who are given success by HIM.
biiznillah.
our job now is js to do as much effort as we can..the rest,js leave it to ALLAH.
hav faith.
pray to HIM.
HE listens.:)


it's 3.51am at my place now
haven't been sleeping since last night.
o.O

owh well,gotta go.
till then peeps

WALLAHUALAM.May ALLAH Bless.

not the best of friends

it's never easy to satisfy people.
no matter how much u tried to satisfy them,they'll still not satisfied.
tht's human.
tht's why some say
"it's easier to have patience in ones self rather than having gratefulness"

Sometimes i got tired trying to impress people.
u tried soo hard so people wouldn't have tht dislike feeling towards u.
but in the end,there'll be always people who would hav.

Well,i didn't say i got haters whtsoever.
but sometimes,there'll be someone who is never satisfied in whtever u do.
or maybe it's js my sense of feeling(?)
I didn't say i'm tht good.tht charming innocent angel tht people are always fond of.
but i wouldn't say i hav haters too.
But i usually think there'll be people who would dislike me.
eventhough i hav nothing to be disliked about.
beauty (X)
rich     (X)
genius (X)
attitude (not too sure) i'll check tht more.

but sometimes,i kinda feel hurt when tht someone with others they can be soo talkative,smile all the way,peramah whtsoever.
n when it comes to me,suddenly became kinda cold.
n i dun even know the reason why.

either i'm being too paranoid.*yes,i'm a paranoid person*
or actually there's nothing..
i dunno.
i guess i need to change tht paranoid feeling.
i seriously do.

i always hav tht feeling evnthough i'm surrounded by many friends,i still feel alone.
owh i dunno.
confuse head and mind now.
unstable feeling.ntahla.sgt sedihh rs.

maybe i'm tht terrible.
yeah,maybe i'm tht terrible friend.
i even hav tht feeling tht i'm not soo important thus i'll be forgotten js like the ashes blew by the wind
ahahhahhaha..
hiperbolic phrase.hihihi.

ok.cut the crap.
ahahha.
but anyway,
I keep reminding myself,
"stop impressing humans.humans are never satisfied with everything.But try ur BEST in trying to satisfy ALLAH..because HE'll look at ur effort in trying to impress HIM."

n also,
"Us as human,try not to expect the BEST in others.try to accept tht person as they are."


i'm sorry friends for not being the best friends.i wanna be tht friend tht go thru highs n lows but it seems tht i'm not capable of it.
i dunno how to respond when my friend got sad,whtsoever.i wanna comfort them but i dunno how.
terrible aite??

ish3x..
kena berubah ni...daya pujuk perlu improve.
nnt kawin???daya pujuk itu sgt penting.
AHHAHAHAHA.


kla.actually i dun evn know wht i'm babbling about.
perasaan yg bercelaru sbnrnya.
js hope ALLAH ease my feelings regarding on this matter.:)

WALLAHUALAM.May ALLAH Bless.

long time

i'm imagining my life another 4 years and a half here.

gahhhh~it feels like forever.

approx. 2 months to go n counting ..

waiting to be back homeeeeee....

it's been almost 6-7 months here n i really cn't wait to go home.

but as usual..to go home,i need to pass my biggest war.

yeah.

FINAL EXAM.

i really salute the students tht prefer not to go back during their summer holidays.

i really do.

but unfortunately i cn't.

imagine being here for almost 6-7 months pun rs mcm homesick gila2..

wht more to say if i didn't go back for 2 years etc.

well,i remembered the time when i was eager to go to oversea.

really wanting to go to oversea.

reason?

because i wanna experience life in different country.

i wanna be independent.

learn how to survive on different conditions.

if i'm at home only,i wouldn't learn anything and i'll depend much on my parents.

n during my high school years,the country tht i've been longing to go is New Zealand actually.

yup.

OTAGO UNIVERSITY.

my dream university.

besides,i grew up in NZ.

kinda like i wanna reminisce the time when my parents further their study there together.

sort of like i wanna be like my parents.

ahahaha...tht's me...not-so-cute person actually.ehehhe

this is jessica.my childhood friend during in NZ.remember when i told u about Debbyanne Whelch tht pass away from cancer last time.this is her daughter.We were close during tht time.but now,i guess i lost contact with her.n u know wht,she's the same age as me but she's already married.she wed last year.

she met her Mr. Right n got married.tht's wht her late mother told me when we had a little chitchat js few weeks before she died :( 

it's kinda sad actually...well,after few years lost contact since we last step foot in NZ...we found out she was sick.having cancer.Debbyanne was surely a strong person.i love her.:)

*suddenly out of the topic story*

but in the end,i went to Egypt.

n i seriously am missing home soo much.

ahahaha.

being independent?

stand up by my own feet?

goshhh~those were js reasons before i came here.

n now when i'm already far from home...i kinda realise tht studying near home is wayyy better.

although u may not experience challenging life whtsoever...but home is the only place u feel home.

where ur families are there with u.

giving u support and motivation to stay strong.

i kinda think my future a few years ahead of me.

well,

i've been away from home at the age of 13.not exactly far away.

schooling in a boarding school for 5 years

went to matriculation for 2 years.

n now?

Egypt for 6years insyaALLAH..may ALLAH permits tht.

it's been like most of my life i've been far away from home.

luckily i got my state scholarship so,i would end up working in Sabah hospitals for 10years. hoping tht i would work near KK only.

my home sweet home.

but i wondered if my future hubby maybe a guy from the peninsular Malaysia?

aigooo~

ahahaha.

tht's another matter.

would he want to stay in Sabah or wants me to stay in peninsular with him??

gahhhh~

if possible,after i finish my studies here,i wanna be near to my parents.

no more being far away.

but it's only planning,everything i leave it to ALLAH..HE's the one tht holds our future aite?

told ya..growing up gets harder day by day...

js hope ALLAH will ease our life journey so everything we do is an ibadah for HIM.:)

like i always said, it ain't life if it's always easy

KEUKENHOF. i fell in love at 1st sight when i see this.

i'm not a fan of flowers but i do know i love tulips.

n this place is full of tulips.

wanna go here in the future.

insyaALLAH.

be it wif anyone.my family,friends or maybe mr. hubby???ekekekeke.

yg pnting dpt jejak kaki sini...

kla.

i got an exm tomorrow.

wish me luck.

WALLAHUALAM.May ALLAH Bless.